Social Media Hatred

Every time I see a media post, it's something sure to draw division. Why do you continue to take the bait??
I see people spewing hatred at others simply for voicing their opinion.
I see people denigrating each other over a post that may or may not even be factual.
You do realize, don't you, that the person you are hating on may be someone you could actually be friends with if you didn't let social media thwart your opinion?
When will we all wake up? When will we all realize that the hate mongers are out there and doing extremely well since social media became their favorite playground?
Stop taking the bait. Stop allowing yourself to get so caught up in your own opinion that you don't even realize you are being used as fodder for the social media grinder.
Think for yourself.  By all means, please, form your own opinions. But, for heavens sake, realize you are being used when you allow that opinion to become your justfication for annihilating another's self worth.
Remember,  when you are tearing down another person, you are saying something about yourself. Even, or maybe especially so, when its a person you don't even know.

Justice?

The wheels of justice turn slow.
Especially for the accused when the prosecuting attorney wants to make a name for herself.
Did you know that you are NOT automatically appointed an attorney when you ask for one?
No - you have to go through the process of filling out an application.
What happens if you don't fill it out correctly??
They ask for your income. Well, by golly, if you put what you were making BEFORE being arrested, you make too much to get a court appointed attorney. 
They ask if you have a job waiting on you. If you say yes, because for some reason you don't understand that you may not be getting out any time soon and your employer isn't going to hold your job, then you get denied a court appointed attorney.
So then, to remedy this, you have to write a letter to the judge letting him know that you messed up and that your situation has changed. No income (why would they even think you had one when you are sitting in jail?), no potential income, no job, and no job waiting on you.
To top that off, you have had no attorney for 5 days, your family can't afford $10,000 UP FRONT to hire one (and that's the lowest I've found), you've had little to no interaction with the outside world (so how the hell, even if you could afford it, are you supposed to hire an attorney?), nobody will answer the questions your family has because, well, you are an adult, and it's the weekend so you know that judge won't be back until Monday.
Plus....it's the holidays, your first hearing is scheduled for early January, and you still have to wait on legal representation.
Legal representation. The ONLY person that can get in to see you, help you with these confusing legal matters, advise you on what to do or say, and let you know that you matter to someone on the outside and, against all popular and media opinion, you are NOT a piece of shit. You are a human being that did a stupid thing and fell into a spider web laid carefully by the prosecution.

Nightmare

I'm not here but I'm not gone. Taking a mind vacation from the pain.
💔
Please don't ask. There's nothing to tell.
Hearts and minds can have a personal hell.
We dwell in a world of human deceit.
Where the pure of heart are often beat.
Don't let the lies of demons make you believe
That everything you read is not meant to deceive. 
The truth lies somewhere in between
And right now I pray it's all just a dream.
~Cynthia French Gatlin~
12-12-18

Socially Demonized

Someone pulled out my brain. Someone stopped my heart.

I thought everything in my life was going pretty darn good. Then the other shoe dropped. The monkey flung poo in my direction. The bottom fell out of the bag.

When they say no good deed goes unpunished, they mean that. People are heartless and evil. Never trust someone you meet online, even if you think it's somebody you want to help.

I was floored. Devastated.
My 24 year old son was getting arrested for "Patronizing a minor for commercial sexual activity - with intent to engage with minor"

This is the boy who tried to save everyone. He was always the one who would befriend those with no friends, drag home kids that needed a good meal or a night away from an unhappy home life. 

The story I was told by his friends is that he was trying to help a girl get away from the mother who was attempting to sell her online.
I don't know if that's true but I could see him doing something stupid for the right reasons. Problem is, the woman turned her phone over to police who then started talking about money, etc.
Can anyone say "Sting Operation"?

I don't know what he was thinking. Obviously,  I failed in my attempt as a parent to get through to him that you can't trust people.

Now he sits in jail awaiting his bond hearing. I have no idea what they have as evidence. No idea if he has a lawyer. No idea if I will be able to afford to pay for bail or even if he will get bail.

He got $150,000 bond, CASH ONLY. No leaving the county (no worries there, judge, nobody can make that kind of bail), no contact with anyone under the age of 18 (duh), he can live with someone with their written permission (well, even if we could make bail, he knows nobody in that county).

Here is what I wrote after being able to visit him for the first time and finding out that he had just filled out the application for a court appointed attorney and that he had been denied said attorney the very next day:

The wheels of justice turn slow.
Especially for the accused when the prosecuting attorney wants to make a name for herself.
Did you know that you are NOT automatically appointed an attorney when you ask for one?
No - you have to go through the process of filling out an application.
What happens if you don't fill it out correctly??
They ask for your income. Well, by golly, if you put what you were making BEFORE being arrested, you make too much to get a court appointed attorney. 
They ask if you have a job waiting on you. If you say yes, because for some reason you don't understand that you may not be getting out any time soon and your employer isn't going to hold your job, then you get denied a court appointed attorney.
So then, to remedy this, you have to write a letter to the judge letting him know that you messed up and that your situation has changed. No income (why would they even think you had one when you are sitting in jail?), no potential income, no job, and no job waiting on you.
To top that off, you have had no attorney for 5 days, your family can't afford $10,000 UP FRONT to hire one (and that's the lowest I've found), you've had little to no interaction with the outside world (so how the hell, even if you could afford it, are you supposed to hire an attorney?), nobody will answer the questions your family has because, well, you are an adult, and it's the weekend so you know that judge won't be back until Monday.
Plus....it's the holidays, your first hearing is scheduled for early January, and you still have to wait on legal representation.
Legal representation. The ONLY person that can get in to see you, help you with these confusing legal matters, advise you on what to do or say, and let you know that you matter to someone on the outside and, against all popular and media opinion, you are NOT a piece of shit. You are a human being that did a stupid thing and fell into a spider web laid carefully by the prosecution.

The visitation process was an eye-opener for both me and his brother. First of all, visitation is from 1-4pm Tuesday and Thursday only. An inmate gets one (1, uno) single 20 minute visit per Tuesday or Thursday.
You don't get to see your loved one in person. Oh, no.....it's via video phone. The handset is there for you to talk to them but they aren't behind a glass window. You have no idea where they are.
He is only allowed 2 visitors at a time so if you have a big family all wanting to visit in that 20 minutes, you better time each person. And if someone goes by to visit before you get there, well tough shit for you. He's already had his visitation for the day.

I used to believe that our justice system was good and fair. Everything that has been happening so far has destroyed that belief.
From the first damaging media article that came out BEFORE he was even arrested, to the fact that lawyers want so much money up front, the court system drags its heels when you need legal representation,  bond is set sky high to keep you in jail, the investigation continues to steamroll while you have nobody there to even explain an application, the only way to get a message to him is via voicemail that you have no way of knowing that he got or by snail mail, and during this time, the media (tv stations on social media)  has already convinced the public that you are a monster.

God forbid a Mother should try to defend her son on social media. You are condemned as "just a mother protecting her young". Is that so bad? The other woman is being lauded for taking her phone to the police to "protect her young", while nobody knows any of the extenuating circumstances that led to that. They accept it without question that the man in this picture is the bad guy. Poof. Monster. Evil.
Well, honey, women can be evil too.
Why didn't she just tell my son to leave her alone and block his number off her phone?
He lived over 200 miles away, had a job he went to daily and sometimes worked weekends, paid his bills on time, and wouldn't have had time to be a stalker.
He would have left her alone if she had told him to. What was her motivation for getting the law involved?
Now.....who is really in the wrong here?
Yes, he was extremely stupid for saying the things he did, but should he spend years paying for his stupidity? He never hurt her or even met with her during this time. Everything was on text only.  Could it be some type of role play they had done before? What were their conversations like up to the point of her turning her phone over?
I'm so ready to have a defense attorney try to get these questions answered.

I have since found an attorney. Things are moving forward at a snails pace but at least they are moving.
I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of reading, and a lot of soul searching over this period of time. While this case is just beginning, I'm learning that God's time is not my time and all truth will be revealed and all wounds healed in His time.
His initial hearing has now been moved to February. I'm praying for the best outcome possible.

My Life Today

I've never been good at selling things.
Sure, as a kid, we had the lemonade stand, even a comic book stand.  That was fun but trying my hand at this network marketing stuff has been a whole new ballgame.

I decided to start selling CBD oil after trying it and finding out that it actually worked for the pain in my knees.
I had been working in the oilfields of North Dakota for a few years when my body started to betray me.  Pain like I've never felt before began to take hold.

My friend introduced me to CBD oil. I used it for about a week when I realized the pain had started to become less annoying.  I passed it off as having a couple of good days.  After a couple of months, I realized it was actually the CBD oil.

I was amazed at the health benefits I was noticing throughout the day. I had more energy, I was less anxious, and I was able to continue working without having to call in on the really bad days.

Sure, I know it's not going to cure anything.  But, OMG!! am I ever so glad I decided to try it!!

So now, I'm still living in North Dakota, I'm still dealing with occasional pain due to the severely cold tempeatures we have here during the winter months, but I'm definitely not as pissed off or mad about being here.  LOL

I also am no longer working in the oilfield. I found a new job indoors with a great company and some of the best and funniest co-workers I could have ever hoped to be cooped up with.

Loving Life!!

Terrible at Keeping in Touch

I am, and always have been, somewhat horrible when it comes to keeping in touch. 

I'm sorry if I haven't reached out to you during the holidays.
I'm sorry if I may not have reached out to you about a question you had, or purchase you made, or comment you left concerning the CBD oil business. 
I'm sorry if I haven't been the thoughtful daughter, sister, mother, or friend you expected at this time of year. 

I love and appreciate all of you. Always. 

As some of you might be able to relate to this.....I get a bit overwhelmed at times. The holidays make me feel like the pressure is on to find the right gift for each person and, undeniably, I end up forgetting someone. 

Then, immediately after the holidays, BAM! Tax season. I do my best to do our own taxes. It's not right or fair that most tax paying Americans have to pay someone to prepare our taxes because the tax code is impossible to understand. 

Anyway.....sorry for this becoming a long drawn out apology and excuse for my crappy behavior at this time of the year. 😄
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, thank you for purchasing CBD oil and products, and I love you guys!!

The Night Out

Everyone enjoys a night out. My Saturday night out was "Date Night" (sort of as we don't actually plan thse things) with my husband.

I had been working for two weeks without a day off and I was ready to cut loose. Well, at my age, cutting loose could mean a good bowel movement but in this case, it actually means wanting to have fun.

We decided to go to the casino that is close to our hometown.
It was better than a good bowel movement.

Sorry....I have no idea where I was going to go with this blog.  I started it but never finished the thought.  I guess things got busy. LOL