Terrible at Keeping in Touch

I am, and always have been, somewhat horrible when it comes to keeping in touch. 

I'm sorry if I haven't reached out to you during the holidays.
I'm sorry if I may not have reached out to you about a question you had, or purchase you made, or comment you left concerning the CBD oil business. 
I'm sorry if I haven't been the thoughtful daughter, sister, mother, or friend you expected at this time of year. 

I love and appreciate all of you. Always. 

As some of you might be able to relate to this.....I get a bit overwhelmed at times. The holidays make me feel like the pressure is on to find the right gift for each person and, undeniably, I end up forgetting someone. 

Then, immediately after the holidays, BAM! Tax season. I do my best to do our own taxes. It's not right or fair that most tax paying Americans have to pay someone to prepare our taxes because the tax code is impossible to understand. 

Anyway.....sorry for this becoming a long drawn out apology and excuse for my crappy behavior at this time of the year. 😄
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, thank you for purchasing CBD oil and products, and I love you guys!!

The Night Out

Everyone enjoys a night out. My Saturday night out was "Date Night" (sort of as we don't actually plan thse things) with my husband.

I had been working for two weeks without a day off and I was ready to cut loose. Well, at my age, cutting loose could mean a good bowel movement but in this case, it actually means wanting to have fun.

We decided to go to the casino that is close to our hometown.
It was better than a good bowel movement.

Sorry....I have no idea where I was going to go with this blog.  I started it but never finished the thought.  I guess things got busy. LOL

The Rock

There once was this boy, about 10 years old, who found a rock. Now, this was was the most beautiful rock he had ever seen. Shiny and special. It wasn't small enough to put in his pocket. It wasn't even small enough or light enough for him to carry around. But he wanted it like nothing he had ever found before. So he found a rope, tied one end around the rock and the other end around his waist.

He couldn't move very fast but he finally dragged the rock home. His family thought it was odd but didn't really say much. "It's just a passing fad", they all thought.

The next day, the boy went out to play with his friends. Because of the rock, he couldn't run or play tag with them, but he could still sit and talk. They asked him why he would do something as silly as tying himself to this rock. "But I love it", he said.

Over time, the boy began to realize that he could no longer do those things he once enjoyed. He could no longer climb the monkey bars, he could no longer slide the slides, and, worst of all, he could no longer enjoy the dizzying elation of swinging so high that he felt he was in the clouds, then jumping off to soar through the air like a bird in flight.
But he loved that rock. And he was fairly certain that rock loved him.

As time progressed, his family began to hate that rock when they saw all the things the boy was missing out on in life. They encouraged him to cut the rope. Let the rock go.
"But I can't", he said, "it needs me."
"It was fine before you found it, it will be fine if you let it go."
"But if I do, I may never find something that will stay with me and love me like this rock does."
"But it's holding you down. You're not even happy any more."

The boy slowly began to notice that his friends no longer waited on him like they did at first. That his family refused to acknowledge the rock any longer. That his life was passing him by and all the things he once enjoyed are something that he "used to do".

As he grew older, he realized how many things he missed out on in his life. How he could have soared with the eagles but was always held to the ground by that rock. He began to loath and detest that rock. The rock had never given him a good life. The rock had always made him feel guilty for even considering cutting the rope. The rock drained him emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

All he had to do, was to be strong enough physically to cut the rope. All he had to do, was to be strong enough mentally to untie the knot. All he had to do, was to be strong enough emotionally to let that rock go.

Cynthia French Gatlin

A Road Whore No More

Yes, I am no longer venturing out on the road for work.  Do I miss it??  You bet your butt I do!!  The money was great and I didn't have to clean up after myself or my kids.  But, life being what it is, I realized that my kids needed me at home more than I needed my sanity.

I did find a job here in this small town I now live in.  At a pharmacy, delivering and clerking.  Yup, I hated it.  I loved the people I worked with and for, but I'm just not cut out for retail.  I wanted to strangle too many people on a daily basis.  Oh, I did get my jollies now and then.  Like the time a young man came in to buy the "morning after pill".  For a "friend".  It's also known as the "Plan B" pill.  As he was leaving, I couldn't help but tell him that next time he should probably try "Plan A"....we sell condoms too!

So I only lasted in that job for about 6 months or so.  No, I didn't get fired.  I quit before I let my mouth get me in trouble.  Now I am among the unemployed.  Yes, I am trying to find a job and I have high hopes of landing one more appropriate to my mental state.  I also have a "plan B", which is to attend school so I can go back to working in the nuclear power field with a better job.  Although, I would rather get the job I'm hoping for here close to home because it has benefits and retirement.  Really gotta have those these days.

So my life has become rather mundane.  I love being with my kids.  I love that they are active in school and have many friends here that keep them busy.  It keeps me busy too.......the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pets, and yard.  Not to mention the hubby coming home now and then to visit and get his laundry done.  Yep, my life is ordinary.

Living on the Road

I am now officially a "road whore".  OMG.....does that sound bad or what??  What I mean by that is, I now have a job that forces me to travel.  A lot.  And I love it.

It all started when my husband came home and told me that a guy at work was starting a school for Radiation Protection Technicians.   I would learn the job, get a job, and be able to travel with him for the Nuclear Power Plant outages.  I jumped at the chance.  Where else could I go to school for two months and have a job that makes enough money in the spring and fall of each year that I would be able to take off work and spend summers and the holidays with the kids??

My first job was at the power plant in Nebraska.  The one my husband had been working in since September of last year.  I learned a lot at that job but I wanted to learn more at other plants.  So I accepted a job in New Jersey.  Different place altogether.....and not just the difference in the way these power plants operate.

Most of my life, I've lived in the south, worked in the south, and have become accustomed to hearing southern accents.  In Nebraska, there is a large amount of southerners working at the power plant.  In New Jersey, however, I feel like I have been thrown into an episode of "The Sopranos".  "Yo, where you from?"

OK....so it's not really that bad.....there is one girl here from south Georgia.  And I'm not really sure if her accent is really that thick, or if I've become unused to hearing it.  Whatever the case may be, she sure does stick out in a conversation.  And I used to think my slight southern twang was bad.

I hope I can get my husband to come up here in the fall to work.......his accent would be noticed.  LOL

Well......I'm looking forward to being home for the summer.....and can't wait to see what lies ahead for the fall.  Us "Road Whores" will be back on the road again.

Ditties, Dialogues, & Diatribes: Crap from an Ordinary Life: music and me

Ditties, Dialogues, & Diatribes: Crap from an Ordinary Life: music and me

music and me

There are so many songs in my life that tell my life.  I look them up on youtube to remind me of my life.  It's kind of weird to think of my life in music...or song....but when you think about it, how many of us don't do that?

There are songs that remind us of our youth.....what we consider the "classics".  Yet our elders may consider these same songs as songs of their "coming of age".

I was born in the early 60's, so I consider the songs of my youth as those of the 70's, the songs of my "coming of age" as those of the 80's, and the songs of my growing up years as those of the 90's. 

I haven't been able to accomodate the songs of the 2000's yet.  I like a lot of them, but just don't know how to "label" them.

When I was a young girl, I believed the words the songs told me.  I belived I would find true love, I belived I could win when the world was against me.  I believed that love would overcome the tyranny of government rule.

When I was coming of age, I believed that I could make a difference in this world by spitting on my former "love conquers all" beliefs.  I still belived it, but the "hippies" let me down.  They began selling out.  I still wanted to believe that love would make this world a better place.  I became antagonistic towards the "love" they were selling.

I became sarcastic.  An unbeliever.  Anarchist.  Love doesn't mean shit unless you can put a slap behind it.  Fuck the government, censorship is for assholes, and we don't need you to tell us how to behave.

It got old.  It's too hard to be hateful, despised, wrong.  The government is made up of it's people.  I am one of it's people.  I may not agree with it, but I have to work within it. 

I sometimes wonder now if I am missing the beat of the people.  I don't have the time to listen to music as often as I did.  When I do, I feel out of place.  I long for a simpler, easier time.  I long for my youth.

I long for a time when we can all understand, love without guilt or remorse, be who we are without hesitation, and give to each other without holding back.

Maybe that's what I saw in those songs of so long ago.