The Glorified Toilet

Ok, so. This is me telling my brother about me, my son, and my son's fiance's experience at a nail salon one random Friday afternoon. 


Yeh, I love the massage chair.
But, the bathroom at this place was the best. The toilet was equipped with a control pad on the side of the seat. You had heat, bidet front, bidet back, dry, massage, and I think that was it.
I went in there and saw it when we arrived. I LOVED the heated seat. Then I tried the bidet. It wasn't a torrential stream and it didn't hit the exact target but it cleaned. I kept thinking it was going to stop automatically so I sat there for a while before noticing the "stop" button. I then hit the "dry" button and felt a few little poofs of air. I used paper to get an actual dry. LOL.
I thought about the massage but decided I had wasted enough time and didn't want everyone thinking I was pinching a loaf. 😂
When I got back to my pedicure seat, I told Zech and Kaleiah that they HAD to use the bathroom before we left.
Zoom to after their toenails were dry and we were getting ready to leave. I remind them to go check out the bathroom.
Kaleiah goes in. When she comes out, we discuss having the same lengthy wait on the bidet thinking it would auto stop, and how it didn't exactly stream in the right direction. She did mention it had different strength levels you could set and how the heater had different temp settings too. She said she tried the massage button but it didn't do anything.
Ok, by this time, Zech had gone in and come out and we were heading out the door.
Zech said he didn't poop but tried the bidet. He said that stream of water hit him EXACTLY on the booty hole with hurricane force. He said it cleaned back to last week. 🤣🤣
I asked him if he tried the dryer. He said, "No, way."
I asked him if, after the bidet experience, he was afraid the dryer would blow strong enough to make his nuts flap around and bang together like wind chimes. 🤣🤣🤣
I was crying laughing so hard that it took me awhile to start the truck.

My brother said it was the longest poop story he had ever heard.

Me:
Ren French you know you loved it. 😂
Plus, I think Kaleiah might have, unintentionally, set Zech up when she, possibly, messed with the bidet stream controls and, unknowingly, set it to "super blast" level. 🤣