So I needed to pick up a few things and decided to go to Wal-Mart. This is kind of a big deal since the closest Wal-Mart is 20 miles away. The drive is nice, listening to music, just chilling. Get to Wal-Mart and the parking lot is jammed up with cars.....so I park sort of far out in the parking lot. No problem, I could use the excersize. I step over the nasty gum and even nastier wad of chewing tobacco that some dorkhead thought everybody would love to see and head toward the doors.
Enter the door and have to wait about 30 seconds on people standing around talking so I could get to the carts. I grab a cart and (of course) have to wriggle and wrangle it out of the one it seems to be mating with. Take off with my pissed off cart (they get like that when you iterrupt mating season) and the wheels start wobbling and squeaking. Say hello to the door greeter who seems to have nodded at me but I'm not sure if it was in greeting or just because she was falling asleep. I head toward the grocery section having to detour around people standing staring at the products on the shelves (wondering to myself if they are planning to buy or merely in a trance) or standing around talking to other people. I get to the aisle for the item I need only to see that there is a couple (both with carts) having a very long conversation centered in front of the item needed. I waited for a few minutes before saying, "Excuse me", where they promptly crab-walked their carts to the side of the aisle directly in front of the item. I then give them that look. You know, the one that says "Really? Like you can't take this outside?". I once again repeat my aforementioned plea of "Escuse me", where they part like the red sea leaving me about 6 inches of space to bend down too close to areas I don't want to touch must less think about to retrieve my item.
I head off to go find the next item I need. Get to that aisle and ....aarrgh!! It looks like I stumbled into "HoverRounds on Parade". I wheel my cart through the mass of people who are free to see the world, wishing they had decided to see another part of the world before seeing Wal-Mart, and was lucky enough to find the item I needed was free and clear of loiterers.
By now, I had just about decided to abandon any hope of tackling the search for one more item but I decided, what the heck. So I head off toward the electronics section......OMG!!! Don't EVER go there near Christmas time. I thought I was in the middle of Times Square on New Years Eve all done up redneck like!! I abandoned all hope. I forced my squeaking wobbly wheeled buggy towards the exit to find 50 people in line for the only 3 cashiers available.
I finally was able to pay for my less than happy purchase and head out the door. I got back to my vehicle where I noticed my shoe seemed to be sticking to the ground. Yup, I did. I stepped in the darn gum.
Enter the door and have to wait about 30 seconds on people standing around talking so I could get to the carts. I grab a cart and (of course) have to wriggle and wrangle it out of the one it seems to be mating with. Take off with my pissed off cart (they get like that when you iterrupt mating season) and the wheels start wobbling and squeaking. Say hello to the door greeter who seems to have nodded at me but I'm not sure if it was in greeting or just because she was falling asleep. I head toward the grocery section having to detour around people standing staring at the products on the shelves (wondering to myself if they are planning to buy or merely in a trance) or standing around talking to other people. I get to the aisle for the item I need only to see that there is a couple (both with carts) having a very long conversation centered in front of the item needed. I waited for a few minutes before saying, "Excuse me", where they promptly crab-walked their carts to the side of the aisle directly in front of the item. I then give them that look. You know, the one that says "Really? Like you can't take this outside?". I once again repeat my aforementioned plea of "Escuse me", where they part like the red sea leaving me about 6 inches of space to bend down too close to areas I don't want to touch must less think about to retrieve my item.
I head off to go find the next item I need. Get to that aisle and ....aarrgh!! It looks like I stumbled into "HoverRounds on Parade". I wheel my cart through the mass of people who are free to see the world, wishing they had decided to see another part of the world before seeing Wal-Mart, and was lucky enough to find the item I needed was free and clear of loiterers.
By now, I had just about decided to abandon any hope of tackling the search for one more item but I decided, what the heck. So I head off toward the electronics section......OMG!!! Don't EVER go there near Christmas time. I thought I was in the middle of Times Square on New Years Eve all done up redneck like!! I abandoned all hope. I forced my squeaking wobbly wheeled buggy towards the exit to find 50 people in line for the only 3 cashiers available.
I finally was able to pay for my less than happy purchase and head out the door. I got back to my vehicle where I noticed my shoe seemed to be sticking to the ground. Yup, I did. I stepped in the darn gum.
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